I started working with Alice at a point in her life where things were very confusing. She had just experienced family breakdown and abandonment which led to a lot of self blame, very low self-esteem and a lot of anger (the latter led to friendship issues). She was also developing a relationship with her new carer.
The hardest thing was for Alice to figure out for herself if what she’d been taught her whole life was true or, if what she was learning now from her new carer was the actual truth. Up until a few months ago she believed that no one would ever do anything for her without wanting something in return; if she ever make a mistake then there always is a punishment, even if it meant punishing herself.
Over the eight months that I worked with Alice I was amazed to see the healing that came out of her self awareness and acceptance of herself.
The client that left the counselling room eight months later was a confident child. Alice made the decision that people don’t have to be ‘good’ or ‘bad’, but that people are people, and they sometimes make good choices and sometimes bad choices.
It was now ok for Alice to ask for help, and she didn’t have to punish herself when she made mistakes. As a consequence she has developed healthy relationships with friends in and out of school.
The most powerful change of all is that Alice now likes herself, and is finally allowing her carer to love her for who she is, and not who she thinks she should be. What a privilege and honour to witness this healing unfold right infront of my eyes.
*name and image changed for client confidentiality