A child who is very angry may be so full of the emotion they cannot contain it and need to release some of it before they can begin to calm down. 


Here are some ways they can do this without damage to anyone or to the home.


  • Hitting something soft like a pillow or cushion
  • Tearing something up such as newspaper
  • Blowing and bursting bubbles by stamping on them
  • Using paper and some crayons or pens to express their anger. They might draw thick red lines or scribble hard in black which goes through the page.
  • Writing down words describing their anger and then screwing the paper up and throwing it away.
  • Doing a physical activity eg. sprinting on the spot, seeing how many star jumps they can do in a minute or if you have a garden running up and down it.


Once they have emptied out some of the anger encourage them to do something they find calming. Allow them time and space to do this and insist that everyone in the household leaves them alone.


Here are some ideas.

  • Drawing or colouring
  • Listening to suitable music
  • Lying or sitting down and concentrating on their breathing
  • Stretching and relaxing parts of the body starting with their feet and working up to their shoulders
  • Blowing bubbles and catching them and looking at the colours they can see
  • Closing their eyes and trying to picture a place where they feel happy and safe. This may be a place they have been to or an imagined place.
  • Thinking of happy things – a friend, an occasion they enjoyed such as a birthday, an activity they like.


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